Control

I was just reading Kate Gosselin's book, Multiple Bles8ings. Setting aside any opinions of their family or situation, it is an interesting book to read. Like Kate, I sometimes struggle with wanting to control things (something she confesses in the book). I want to set things up in such a way that my kids are taken care of...that they don't hurt.

Change of thought, but I promise it all ties in nicely...

Judson is struggling with a staph infection again. He had one at the beginning of May, and he was put on antibiotics. In addition to that, we had to drain the sores that appeared on his body. I know, TMI...but I tell you that because it was painful for him, but necessary. It was also painful for the mommy to see him in pain. He healed up, and I was thankful it was over. Apparently it was not. The strain he had is resistant to some antibiotics...including the one he was taking. So this past weekend he showed up with more sores, and was feeling pretty crummy. So now he is on a different antibiotic. However, he has six sores on this sweet body that need to be drained. They are all in very tender spots, making it more difficult.

As a mother watching her son struggle, I too struggle with the "how do I keep this from happening" thoughts. Because the truth is, I can't. We didn't do anything wrong...and we probably couldn't have prevented it from happening. But I don't want to see my child suffer.

So as I am reading Kate's book, she starts talking about wanting to make everything right for her children, and then having God tell her, "No, Kate, they are mine first. I love them even more that you ever possibly could. Let me be in control!" WOW! That's God putting me in my place! Because I did not read Kate's name when I was reading it...I read mine.

Why is it so hard to let the God who controls the universe control my life? Why don't I just give in? Why do I even begin to think that I know better? I wouldn't dare admit that out loud, but my actions reveal my attitude.

My kids, my house, my finances, my health, my future, my relationships - He is in control of it all!!