Friday, September 28, 2007

MOPS Review - Part 2

Okay, this one should be more practical...

John Ortberg: Spoke about Ps 90:12, "Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom." We all suffer from hurry sickness and need to "ruthlessly eliminate hurry from our lives." There is a difference between busy and hurry. Busy is a physical, but hurry is spiritual. It's when you are not able to be fully present. Focus on the important. Be rich in being, like joy, love, and friendship rather than rich in having.

Liz Selzer: Liz is the Director of Leadership Development for MOPS. She has some major degree in counseling and education. Her workshop was on coaching. the focus was on helping other get where they desire to be. Not counseling, but help others set goals. This should be different from giving advice - you're helping them find their own answers, drawing out what God gave them. Eph. 2:10, "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." The talk was based on Priscilla and Aquila in Act 18. So, to be a good coach you need to:
1. Assess Attributes. Where are they? How have their experiences shaped them? Actively engage them. Listen. She challenged us to listen for 15 minutes with only saying things like, "tell me more", or "how did that change things" - standard counselor question. It has been amazing to see how much I have learned about people - deep things, just from listening for that long. People learn that you value and accept them and they begin to trust you more with the things that they guard tightly. Find out what the person knows and loves - their values and passions. What would they do if there were no limitations (responsibilities, money, time). Then highlight the positives, their resources and strengths. Enhance their strengths don't try and fix their weaknesses. This was a difficult one for me to absorb. I feel like I am constantly trying to fix my weaknesses.
2. Create a Compulsion. That sounds bad, but the person needs motivation. Motivation is 40% of why people change. Create that motivation by a.) stimulating God's passion & vision - this includes a lot of prayer; b.) help hone the direction of that passion; c.) model enthusiasm - this is critical - the person needs to know that you think they can do it!; d.) hold them accountable.
3. Strategize Steps. a.) clarify the overall target & expectations; b.) help develop a structure and support THEIR solutions; c.) discuss a time frame and decide on clear criteria for evaluating the success; d.) fuel energy into the process; e.)help them create goals & take the first step. Part of this included how to make SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, & Timebound.
4. Obliterate Obstacles. External barriers (distracting events, changing schedules, criticism from others, difficult people, energy drainers, clutter) and Internal barriers (boredom, insecurity, lack of commitment)
5. Evaluate Excellence. How are we doing? What needs to stop? What needs to continue? What needs to change? Set regular times to evaluate.
Remember you are not a counselor! Direct them to a counselor when necessary.

I really enjoyed this session. I was thinking about the coaching aspect for my kids - the SMART goals and helping them to come up with their goals instead of just Mommy and Daddy determining what they should do. And I took the challenge of listening and that was a lot of fun! Now I just have to try really listening to my kids!


Heasleye said...

Great information, Jenn! Thanks for sharing it so succinctly! I, too, was imagining how to use some of these ideas with my kid. Sounds like this was a great time of filling up for you. Yay! Praise God!

Martha said...

This was really helpful. I have been considering how to continue to build relationship with my neighbors, mothers with young children, and your summarizing Lis Selzer's talk gave me some really practical ideas.

The Lucky One said...

Miss the MOPS days! Sounds like you're having a blast!

Maggie said...

Loved these notes! Keep it coming! (And love the jeans! i'm a dark denim, too!)