Today I am feeling completely overwhelmed...
I know I mentioned last week that finances are tight. Money is by far one of the most stressful subjects. I don't wish health issues for anyone - that can be scary. But for me, money is by far the most difficult subject to deal with.
While Dave Ramsey has helped us feel more secure, and I know that we are in the top 5% of the world as far as wealth, I still worry. I know we are where God has asked us to be, but I don't see the big picture yet. My husband is working two jobs, I am working, my kids get reduced lunch at school, we qualify for medicaid. We don't eat out as a family, my kids don't participate in gymnastics, music lessons, swimming lessons. We don't take vacations every year. We don't go to movies, or amusement parks, or even bowling. None of these things are needs and we have fun as a family, but I hate having to tell my kids they can't have gymnastic lessons, they can't go rock climbing, we can't go see that movie, we can't go eat at Texas Roadhouse...reason being there is no money for that. I have to pay the electric bill and buy groceries. I want my kids to understand that, but I don't know how to say it.
How much information do you tell your kids about money? Do you tell them you are struggling to pay the bills? I want them to learn that we rely on God to provide, but how?
The other day I overheard the kids talking to each other. One said they wanted to eat at Texas Roadhouse. The other said, "yeah, me too, but it costs too much money". I can have a great steak (venison steak) dinner at home and try to make it fun. No, I can't take six kids to Texas Roadhouse. I don't even know that I want to - just the chaos of ordering, cutting food, opening peanuts...but I don't like having to say no to things just because of money.
I want them to have piano lessons, I want them to learn to swim. I want to take them to visit family every year. I don't want them to worry if they will get enough food that day.
I am thankful that they have clean drinking water. I am thankful they have beds to sleep in and blankets on those beds and warm pjs to wear. I am thankful they have snow boots and coats to wear on this sub-zero day. I am thankful for the venison in my freezer. I am thankful for a vehicle that runs and can carry my whole family. I am thankful for a Lord that loves me and cares about my every worry and fear.
And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you
are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows. Luke 12:7 NLT
Lord, help me not to worry, help me to not be afraid, help me to know that I am valuable!