Most days I feel pretty young - pretty full of energy. But other days I feel like I should just sit on the sofa with a blanket over my legs and a cup of tea. That's just my warped picture of me as an old lady.
The bible study that I am currently participating in is about defining our vision, our passion, our purpose. I think it is important to revisit this idea every few years and make sure that we are staying "on track".
Every once in a while I lose sight of why I am here. I am a mommy 24/7. I am a wife. I am a daughter. I sometimes lose focus of Jennifer.
I see that in my reactions. I see that in how I care about myself. I know that I need to get rid of some extra weight. But honestly, I don't feel very motivated. Right now, it isn't a health issue. Right now, I still fit in my clothes. But right now, I don't have energy. Right now, I don't feel comfortable. And I know that if I don't make changes right now, it will be a health issue. And it will be more difficult to change.
Somehow that still does not motivate me. Ugh!
So back to focusing on Jennifer. Right now in this study we are supposed to review our lives. Place events of our lives into "chapters", and look for a re-occurring theme. I can see the events. I can see the chapters. I don't see the theme...other than change. Constant change. As soon as I get comfortable, things change.
The hard part about looking forward is that I desperately want that comfort zone. I don't get the opportunity to stay in that comfort zone for very long. I want to be there for a while - not just a short visit.
This past week, the gray hairs have begun to show themselves again. That does not help me feel young. I have dreams of being the silver haired lady full of energy and color and people being surprised that someone that old has that much energy.
It has made me realize that to accomplish that goal, I have to make some changes.
...gray hair is not a change I am ready to make!